ROYCEY......COMEDIAN, PRESENTER AND X FACTOR WARM-UP ACT

Ian Royce has this morning agreed to answer some of our questions.....



From the Tellymix website.....

The X Factor’s warm up act Ian Royce has been blasted for his ‘crude’ jokes by some audience members of this year’s auditions. The standup, who has been part of the show since the first series, is said to have ‘sickened’ some of the crowd with his gags.

According to Sunday tabloid The People, Ian’s apparent foul and offensive comments “stunned” audience members.

And just how many members of the some 7,000 fans at Liverpool’s Echo Arena complained?

Two.

Prudish Helen McMahon moaned to the tabloid: “I’m with my 16-year-old daughter and this isn’t what I want her to hear. Date rape isn’t a joking matter.”

While Lauren McHugh tweeted: “You’re not that funny.”

We’ve been entertained by Roycey for the past 3 years following the show and can’t help but find such comments utterly ridiculous. Instead of complaining, we’ve composed a list of our Top 10 favourite Ian Royce jokes from this year’s show.

1) Telling Kelly Rowland: “Me and you, you know it’s going to happen. It’s only a question of time – and horse tranquiliser.”

2) “That guy on the stage is Ken, The X Factor’s photographer, every picture you see of The X Factor, it’s Ken who’s taken the pictures… We don’t call him Kev, we call him Kev the perv.”

3) (ranting about producers removing water from the judges’ desk) “Well I just can’t believe they left the bloody water there, will someone fire that executive producer! It’s Saturday night, it’s 8′o’clock, it starts right here and some twat left the water on the desk!! SWITCH OVER TO STRICTLY COME DANCING!!”

4) “Kelly… some scouser with a tag on his ankle wants your number”

5) (to random audience member) “Oh my gosh you’re pregnant… you are, aren’t you? Or is this one of those horrible moments where my career ends? And it was 9 months since you met Gary?”

6) (to Kelly’s make up assistant) “How do you get that job? I want to be the one touching up… Kelly’s lips… wait, let’s no go there…”

7) “This is our executive producer Mark Sidaway… and he’s single… sorry girls, you’re barking up the wrong tree. You’re not even in the right forest.”

8) “Why are you taking a picture of me? You’re going to get home and people are going to ask ‘Who is that?’ and you are going to say ‘Err… I dunno… but he was a good shag’”

9) “Can you put the banners down please, I know you’ve gone to a lot of effort but… well, they’re crap.”

10) (to executive producer Beth Hart) – “She’s down on her knees and I bet that’s not the first time.”



About Roycey on Simon Cowell's website....
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An Ian Royce interview for TalkSport in 2003...

Ian Royce is a man of many comedic talents, and has paid his dues
over eight years as a stand-up comedian and presenter working all
over the country. His claims to fame are as varied as playing an Ugly
Sister in pantomime in London, doing stand-up routines on cruise
ships and hosting live presentations for the Las Vegas Tourist Board
and Mr Kipling the exceedingly good cake people.

In establishing himself on the London comedy circuit he has played The
Comedy Store, the Kings Head, The Cosmic, Ha Bloody Ha, The Room
Upstairs, The Bearcat Club, All Bar One Putney and Standing Ovations.

His TV credits include The Big Big Talent Show, Talking Telephone
Numbers, The Time The Place, Celebrity Squares, Stand & Deliver, and
The Stand-up Show. Ian recently appeared on central TV’s Weekend Live.
In 1988 Ian co-hosted BBC 2's Student Choice, which won a Bafta for
Best BBC2 Documentary, an award he was obviously delighed to win.

You have often filled in for a number of presenters on talkSPORT, but what is your daytime job and what do you do when not broadcasting your voice across the airwaves?
I work as a stand up, and am working a lot in television at the moment, mostly doing warm ups for every major TV show. I have just finished a pilot for a new game show.

During your career you have done a number of things from stand-up comedy on the London comedy circuit, television and radio but what has been the highlight of your career so far?
My whole career is the best part, I get to entertain people, and hopefully put a smile on someone's face, a laugh is someone's stomach or a thought in someone's head, hat in its self is priceless. I get to do my hobby as a job, I feel blessed that I don't work 9:00am-5:00pm, although I have in the past to make ends meet!

When did you make your first appearance on talkSPORT and how did you get onto the airwaves at talkSPORT as you were a comedian at the time?
I first appeared with Ian Collins as one of his Creatures. We met in a bar and got talking about the Blue Review, and he invited me on the show. It was at the old studios in Oxford Street, I think about 3-4 years ago

You have filled in for many presenters at talkSPORT including Tommy Boyd, Mike Dickin, Mark Green, James Whale and Ian Collins. Who did you like filling in for the most?
I love to fill in for Ian, as I feel it is just a continuation of the Creature's show (That was!) However Mike Dickin's slot was fun, as I had two months experience in radio and I was filling in on a major day time slot, nothing like flying by the seat of your pants.

You seem to be the first man the talkSPORT management chooses to fill in for a presenter when they are away. Do you want a permanent show on radio, whether it's at talkSPORT or any other station?
Simple answer is yes, although my television commitments are getting bigger, so it would depend on what was offered. I am sometimes amazed that I am asked to fill in so much, but have never been offered a show. I would have to think long and hard about an offer if one came in.

In his book Confessions of the Night Time Radio Host, Ian Collins says there is no beginning to your talents. Are you as complimentary about Ian as he is about yourself?
It is very rare to meet genuine people in this business, Ian is one of them. He has taken time to teach me, and will go to any length to push your name into the right ears, even if he has to put his neck out. I honestly feel we have only heard a small slice of what Ian has to offer, his talent on radio is second to none, I believe he is way ahead of any other presenter on talkSPORT, and would say he is in the top 3 in the country. When you watch Ian work you are actually watching a God given talent.

As you are relatively new to broadcasting on the radio, what qualities do you need to be a radio host and did being a stand-up comedian help in any way?
Being able to talk helps, having an open mind, and very thick skin. Luck plays a huge part, but I am a believer if you bang at any door long enough it will come tumbling down! Stand up helps, as you need to think on your feet. I have been summoned to the talkSPORT office many times for taking a too light hearted approach on my shows sometimes, but everything in life has humour.

You presented The Blue Review on Live TV a few years ago. How much did you enjoy presenting the show and what do you think about the return of the channel to Sky Digital?
Yes I loved it; tell me a man who wouldn't. However now it is back on air, I am not so sure, it has taken a very long time to move away form the label, now its back, and I am trying to keep it quiet!

On the comedy circuit you must come into contact with a lot of comedians. Are you friends with ant other well-known comedians and what is your opinion regarding Tim Vine?
Yes I am friends with a few "known" comics. I don't know Tim Vine very well, but have worked with him. He was a very nice guy, and also funny.

Given the choice which would you prefer to do on a full time basis, stand up comedian or radio host?
When you finish a television gig, the audience let you know how you have done, however with radio you just get up and go with no idea if your audience had a good or bad experience.

Are you a fan of shows like Ricky Gervais' The Office on the BBC, Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights on Channel 4 and Alan Partridge's material on the BBC?
I am a huge fan of Phoenix Nights and I think it is the funniest show since Only Fools and Horses. Peter Kay is just a God and someone I admire greatly. It is not often a talent such as that appears, and we should treat him as a national treasure.

What do you think of the American comedies like Frasier, Friends, Scrubs and Will & Grace?
Love them, although Will and Grace is not my bag! The Sopranos is just the dogs bollocks, I have every episode on DVD and sits in my collection in my cupboard.

Which football team do you actually suppot and how do you think England will do at Euro 2004 next Summer in Portugal?
I'm actually a Portsmouth fan and they will win the Premiershp, of course! As for England at Euro 2004, will Mike Parry ever appear on the cover of Men's Health? I don't think so, but stranger things have happened!

Who were your idols as a child?
My idols as a child included John Cleese from Monty Python and Fawlty Towers fame, Billy Connolly, Michael Crawford, Liverpool and England footballer Kevin Keegan, and Tony Hadley.

What book are you currently reading and do you ever play to write a book of your own?
At the moment I'm treading The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. As for writing my own book whether it be fiction or an autobiography, I'm but I think I'd rather stick to what I know.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema and what did you think of it?
The last film I saw was the Greatest Blowjobs in a porn cinema in Soho, London.

Thanks to Ian Royce for the chance to interview him. You can hear The Ian Royce Experience on talkSPORT when filling in for Mike Dickin, Ian Collins and James Whale.



From Connextions website....

Currently hosting TV shows on satellite and cable television, Ian Royce made history by becoming the highest-ever scoring entrant on Opportunity Knocks.

His combination of natural wit and quick timing enables him to delight any type of audience, and led Gary Bushell, The Sun's strong-minded entertainment correspondent, to make Ian Royce his Hot Tip For The Top.

Here as promised!!

Hi mate

Everyone knows you do warm-up for X Factor. What other shows have you been warm-up act for?

Have you been watching the ITV series Show Me The Funny? What do you think of it? Who would you like to win?

Hi, can you please tell us about your time on Opportunity Knocks?

I think the bad publicity about X Factor that you got earlier this year was very unfair. What do you feel about it?

Did it annoy you..........or is all publicity good publicity?

What the f... is going on? What is a pompey fan doing on here?? (Tell us a funny football joke and I'll forgive you a bit!!)

I think Michael McIntyre and Lee Mack are great, who are your favourite stand-up comedians?

And which are your favourite recent situation comedies? Mine are Gavin and Stacey, The Visit, Not Going Out and Mrs Brown's Boys

Maybe a bit of a difficult one....can you tell us your life story in a couple of paragraphs?

When you were a boy, were you a comedian in the classroom? Were you forever getting into trouble at school? or were you just a normal kid?

Which comedians were your favourites when you were a boy? Who did you want tobe?

What did you think of the recent Simon Cowell / Cheryl Cole falling out saga?

Is Cheryl as lovely in real life as she is on screen? In the flesh is Simon Cowell friendly or pompous??

Don't suppose you have any influence over them or any of the others to get them to answer questions like you are?

Do you get to meet X Factor contestants? Which of them have seemed nice (and which not so nice) in real life?

What do you think of those being auditioned in this year's show? Who do you think stand the best chance of reaching the final?

My favourite comedian of all-time was Stan Laurel. Are you a Laurel and Hardy fan?

Have you ever thought about forming a double act? Who do you think would be your ideal partner?

If you hadn't become a comedian what job would you have liked to do?

Hi, Did you enjoy your spots on Talk Sport? Do you think being a comedian was an asset or hindrance for that?

Are you superstitious? Is there anything you do for good luck?

During your years appearing in front of the public have there been times things have not gone quite right...........any embarrassing moments you can tell us about?

Looking into the future what would you like to be doing in 20 years time?

Answer these so we can see what makes you tick?

1. Do friends have a pet name or nickname for you?

2 What hobbies do you pursue?

3 Do you drive? What would be your ideal car to drive?

4 If you were offered a part in a TV soap, which soap would you choose?

5 What sort of music do you listen to and who are your favourite singers/groups (past or present)?

6 What are or were your favourite TV programmes?

7 What are your favourite films?

8. What are your favourite plays?

9. What are your favourite books?

10 Who is your favourite actor? And actress?

11 What product would you like to be given a contract to advertise?

12 Do you have any pets?

13 What is your favourite meal?

14 What is your favourite drink?

15. Can you sing or play a musical instrument?

16. Which colours do you prefer wearing?

17. What is your ideal holiday?

18 Are you married or do you have a partner? And children?

19 Who do you think are the dishiest female comediennes?

20 Is there anything you regret not having done in your life so far and do you have any ambitions you hope to fulfil?

Bob's your Uncle wrote:Hi mate

Everyone knows you do warm-up for X Factor. What other shows have you been warm-up act for?

Hundreds! Some of the biggest have been hosting "The Royal Wedding" in front of 60000 people, The Royal Variety Performance, Children In Need rocks the Royal Albert Hall. Piers Morgan's Life Stories, the list goes on and on......

Bob's your Uncle wrote:Have you been watching the ITV series Show Me The Funny? What do you think of it? Who would you like to win?

I watched the first one, to be honest it's a bit like a busman's holiday for me, but good luck to those taking part.

North End Mam wrote:Hi, can you please tell us about your time on Opportunity Knocks?

Long time ago, I was the only ever comic in the 25 year history to get a maximum on the clapometer, truly a claim to fame! I was beaten by 2 Spanish tap dancers, but will never forget the joy of working with the legend who was Les Dawson. After the show Les invited me to his dressing room, he spent 15 minutes chatting to me and giving me advice, the only other comics to have done that for me in my life were Bob Monkhouse and Robin Williams, truly the masters!